Column One:
Eye on Unmarried America

November 6,  2006  



Readers react to previous Column One commentaries

Below are recent letters from readers sharing their reactions to issues which have been raised in this column.  The date and name of the column are in bold (with hyperlink to the commentary) and the readers comments follow.  Send us your comments on a particular column and we will consider publishing them.

I just read one of your older articles and it really interested me.

I returned to Ft. Campbell KY from Iraq on April 26, 2006. 4 days later I got a phone call saying my wife passed away while staying at her mom's house.

My unit at Ft. Campbell was nice enough to let me keep housing allowance, just changed it to a single person rate.

The end of September I just moved to Ft Bliss, TX. My housing allowance was stopped because now I am a single E4. I was married for 5 years and have numerous household goods which I think would be wrong to make me put it into storage because I haven't lived in the barracks since I was a private.

I do live off post but am paying out of my pocket because no one seems to want to help me.  I was told my commander could do some paperwork but that isn't happening and I talked to our BN S-1 or finance personnel and was told by an E6 I have to live in the barracks / I CANNOT receive the housing allowance.

I think this is not right. I am 27 yrs old have lived on my own or with my wife for numerous years.  Why can't these policies be changed, especially for certain circumstances?

Thank you for reading.



July 24, 2006
Anti-cohabitation law bites the dust

I am writing this letter in Wayne, West Virginia due to the fact my boyfriend and I are being made to separate after a year of living together.

He is trying to get his probation transferred from Ohio to West Virginia.  You see, Ohio will let us live together but when they started the transfer all of a sudden we have to separate and you see I am disabled and I need his help to get everyday things done.

I don't think its fair for them to tell us we cant live together because of a stupid law. If that's the case, there also is a law in West Virginia that you can beat your wife on courthouse steps on Sunday !!!!!!!

I don't feel the state should make the choice on who you can date and how (you live).  I am not a person who wants to get married right away.  I had a very bad relationship and marriage and it seems very sad that your freedom to live your life your way would be wrong.

Please let me know if there is anybody to help


July 31, 2006
Forbes distorts cost of married vs. single living

I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed your column and the Forbes story. I thought the same thing when I read it. It was misleading. Iím glad someone addressed it like you did so well.

Thank you.


October 23,  2006
Discrimination claims filed by heterosexual couples

[I am] a Boeing employee, with a "domestic partner" for 5 years. 

Car insurance recognizes it, Boeing will not, as I have penis and she has a vagina. 

Not being practicing Christians, we refuse to be married, as we are both agnostic. 

If I was willing to be a gay member of society, not accept marriage as it was unlawful, I would get benefits for my partner.  But, having opposite sexual organs, we are discriminated against, based on our refusal to accept traditional, Christian based roles in marriage.


November 14, 2005
Single governors are rare despite one recent victory

I read your fascinating piece from November 14, 2005 on unmarried governors and am interested in finding out if there are any studies on married vs. unmarried politicians.

I'm doing research for my boss, the writer Adam Hanft, for a possible column.


February 27, 2006
Mini-battle over definition of 'family' has national significance

I am the assistant editor at Urbanite magazine, a free monthly magazine in and about Baltimore City.  We are working on the concept for our Family issue, which will come out in September 2006.

We are currently focusing on trying to find out more about current definitions of family.

I found the materials and commentary on your site to be a very interesting part of current discussions about what constitutes a real family and what the concrete implications of definitions of "family" can mean for people.

I'm interested in the work you do, and would like to know if you have any resources (books, articles, people) that could be helpful to us in our research.

Thanks for your prompt reply



© Unmarried America 2006

Thomas F. Coleman, Executive Director of Unmarried America, is an attorney with 33 years of experience in singles' rights, family diversity, domestic partner benefits, and marital status discrimination.  Each week he adds a new commentary to Column One: Eye on Unmarried America. E-mail: Unmarried America is a nonprofit information service for unmarried employees, consumers, taxpayers, and voters.