To be or not to be single

July 10, 2005

Reagan Flamboe
Aberdeen News


Remember those stories back when a woman became a wife and a mother at the age of 14? She raised eight kids and managed to have dinner on the table by 5 p.m. Or the one that says once a bridesmaid, never a bride?

Well I'm now 27, no kids - not even a pet - and I've been a bridesmaid in seven weddings.

I know, no need to say it - I might as well be done with it all. I'm doomed!

Says who?

Let's be real, folks - no one is really living your life for you. Ah yes, how nice it would be if that were true, but in the reality of it all, you make your life.

I think we realize the truth when something great happens, but when we feel bad about ourselves, we look for blame elsewhere. For instance, when a woman is not like the mold you see in TV or pictures, she thinks that someone is punishing her. Give it up! So what if you have more meat on your bones than other women, or your eyes are somewhat crossed?

Remember that you are the first person others go to when they need some warmth and a different outlook on things. You are different, and that's a perk.

You need to paint with the colors that were given to you. Make a masterpiece!

So what is the big deal with being single?

Before "Sex in the City," were single people really the "in" thing?

That show gave singles a soapbox to stand on, and yell. The idea came from life.

Being single nowadays is like having an illness. You don't necessarily feel like you are ill; it's the way people around you treat this "problem."

"Oh, you are single at your age? What's wrong with you? Are you divorced?... Are you gay?" (That's my favorite.) "You need to hurry; your biological clock is ticking."

And how about the people who are always trying to set you up with someone who also has this "disease?"

The worst is when your friends try to find someone for you. Right when you think your friends know you best, they don't. I'll give them an A for effort, but come on.

When this happens you realize that your friends are the desperate ones, not you. They want you to have the babies and love like they have.

Being single is a way of life. I once read an article that talked about how a lot of young people today are strong, successful and sexy singles. This was the biggest thing next to being a millionaire.

But I didn't need an article to give permission to feel this way. Single is my way of life; it is a great quality and sense of freedom to have. I have found more creativity in it, and a great sense of self-worth. Besides, how can you truly find the one that is right for you when you don't know yourself?

Next time you feel the need to step on the single soapbox, say this:

Look at my many colors in MY masterpiece!

- Reagan Flamboe, special to the American News, is a 27-year-old Aberdeen native and Central High School graduate now living in Clearwater, Fla., where she works for an obstetrician-gynecologist.