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Sitting at a table, I
happily watched people dancing at my cousin's wedding. Then I felt a
hand on my back. My cousin leaned down and asked me the question dreaded
by all singles: "So when are you getting married?"
He knew I wasn't seeing
anyone special at the time. Still, since he had tied the knot five
minutes before, I guess he thought all people should be a twosome.
I wanted to say, "When
you get your college degree." (At the time, he was still working on it
after eight years.) But I stayed classy and said, "As soon as I do, you
will be the first to know."
Then he sat me at the
singles table next to my teenage cousins and a couple with two babies.
The night was a strain.
Little did I know I had just been "singled out." That's when everyone in
the room knows you are the single one.
From the bouquet toss to
sitting next to Spinster Sally at the singles table, weddings are
notorious for making single people feel like a sideshow.
Single Files turned to
Julie Murray, owner of Her New York, a public relations and wedding
planning firm for the Hudson Valley and New York City, to get singles
survivor tips at weddings. Julie, of Warwick, also offers advice on how
the bride and groom can make their single guests more comfortable.
And of course, since I
am always a bridesmaid and never a bride, I will toss out a bouquet full
of pointers myself.
Confidential to singles:
The fantasy: Single
people believe their kindred spirit is at their friend's wedding.
Julie says: Probably
not. "The reception is just a party. Don't put too much into it. Go
there, look great and embrace your single status."
Amy says: Mr./Miss Right
is probably the caterer or the disc jockey. Don't forget to make eye
contact with the girl/guy holding the stuffed mushrooms; that person
could be serving you food for the rest of your life.
Bring a friend as a
date?
Julie says: Weddings are
expensive, and you should definitely ask permission before you do this,
but it would be easier on the single person if the couple allows single
friends to bring a guest.
Amy says: As part of
your gift, ask the bride or the groom if you could pay for your friend's
meal. That way, the couple isn't obligated to pay for the extra person
and you have a person to do the macarena with.
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