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I turn 39 this week
and have never been married. That doesn't mean my life isn't wonderfully
rich. I'm blessed with friends who remind me every day why I love living
here. My mom recently moved to town. I enjoy my job (most days, anyway).
I have a hangout where everybody knows my name.
But what being
unmarried at 38 does mean is this: I eat off the same dinner plates I
bought shortly after I got out of college. The built-in china hutch in
my 1938 dining room isn't filled with crystal. I don't have silver. I
have water-spotted knives, spoons and forks.
My kitchen isn't
equipped with a Cuisinart. Or a pizza oven. Or a fancy espresso machine.
I have a mortgage to
pay. By myself.
So recently, I
decided that I want to have a "40 & Single" shower in lieu of a wedding
shower or baby shower. (OK, so what if I don't really like to cook?)
There's a great "Sex
and the City" episode in which Carrie, the main character, is forced to
take off her shoes at a friend's baby shower. Then someone makes off
with the shoes -- Manolo Blahniks, no less.
The friend offers to
pay for the shoes, but not at the $450 price Carrie paid for them. She
offers $200, criticizing Carrie for spending $450 on shoes.
She implies that
Carrie spends money frivolously because she doesn't have a "real" life
(one shared with a husband and children).
Outraged, Carrie
computes how much money she's spent over the years on various presents
for the couple: $2,300.
I certainly haven't
spent that much money on any one person or couple. How could I? I'm a
journalist and don't just play one on TV. (How did Carrie afford all
those great shoes on her columnist's salary?) But I have purchased many,
many wedding shower, wedding, baby shower and baby presents for folks
over the years.
Even though,
admittedly, I've never had the expense of a wedding or a baby, I think
I'm reaching an "Enough is enough! When is it my turn to register?"
point. To be honest, it's not so much the presents I'm after. It's more
the experience of walking around a store with a scanner (aka magic
wand). I don't think I'd even care whether I got the presents. I just
want the fun of choosing.
Many of my friends
-- both single and married, I might add -- have offered to host a shower
for me when I turn 40 next year.
"Sex and the City's"
Carrie protested by registering at the Manolo Blahnik store.
I'll settle for
Target. |
