Wednesday, January 16, 2002

Married women going back to school can spell out divorce

A story published today by the New Zealand Herald reports that according to a British study conducted by the UK National Institute for Adult and Continuing Education, married women who go back to school to continue their education often face marriage breakdowns.

Kathryn James, who examined the topic for the institute said: "This is quite a common occurrence, sometimes referred to as the 'Educating Rita' syndrome."

In the film Educating Rita, Julie Walters plays a working-class housewife who failed at school and returns to study under the tutelage of Michael Caine.

Rita's husband resents her enthusiasm for learning, and they split up.

Ms. James found that, as with Rita, most women continued their courses with a new-found confidence, even if it led to marital separation.

One woman told the study researchers: "I have suffered a broken marriage since starting back in education, but this is down to personal growth and new confidence."

"Most women do carry on with the course. They see learning as their route to earning if things do go wrong. It becomes more important still." noted James." But some do give up to save their marriage."

The study said many women returning to education saw changes that could be considered traumatic, such as a marriage breakup, as a route to a more fulfilling life.

Another woman interviewed for the study said she was more stressed since starting further education.

"I never had headaches and now I am rarely without one.

"Despite this, I would still do the same again. Headaches are better than boredom."

Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Women's rights group urges military institute to rescind family status policy

A story published today by the Roanoke Times reports that the National Women's Law Center has sent Virginia Military Institute a three-page letter Monday condemning the school's new policy against marriage and parenthood among students.

The policy, which took effect Monday, states that students who are married or who become pregnant or cause a pregnancy must resign or be "separated" from the corps of cadets for failing to meet eligibility requirements.

The letter, addressed to VMI Superintendent Josiah Bunting , called the policy illegal under Title IX, a federal anti-gender discrimination law that states a student cannot be barred from any academic program because of pregnancy. The policy also violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment, the letter claims.

"VMI's policy is neither neutral nor justified," wrote Jocelyn Samuels, vice president and director of education for the Washington, D.C.- based women's rights group. "It was adopted to, and does, treat female students differently on the basis of sex."

VMI cadets long have been forbidden to marry, but after certifying upon admission they are not married, rarely are asked about it again. Samuels said that is evidence the new policy is directed at women.

"Their allegation that we have not enforced our existing marriage policy is absolutely false," VMI spokesman Chuck Steenburgh said.

The Virginia Attorney General's office helped devise the new policy, and the school would not have adopted it if it were not defensible, Steenburgh said.

"We certainly value the advice of our legal advisers above a group such as this."

The policy does not preclude separated cadets applying for readmission at a later date, Steenburgh said. The college will handle each case on an individual basis.

New study shows link between illness and divorce

A story published today by the New York Daily News reports that several years ago, Dr. Michael J. Glantz, a brain cancer specialist, was struck by what appeared to be an extraordinary number of divorces and separations among his patients who had primary brain tumors that were expected to kill them within 15 months.

So Glantz, who works at Brown University in Providence, R.I., began keeping track. This year, he reported his preliminary findings at the conference of the American Society of Clinical Oncology.

To the surprise of his colleagues, he says, he found that of 183 cases in which the patient was married at the time of diagnosis, there were 17 divorces or separations, an overall rate of roughly 9%, within about a year. More important, he says, was the asymmetry of these divorces: In 14 of the 17 breakups, or 82%, it was the woman who had cancer.

To see whether this was tied to something particularly stressful about brain cancer (which can alter personality and cognitive function), Glantz also studied two other groups: 107 married patients with multiple sclerosis, a chronic disease that is not usually fatal, and 172 married patients with cancers that neither arose in nor had spread to the brain.

Divorces in those cases, too, he found, disproportionately occurred when it was the wife who was sick — 96% of the cases with MS, 78% of the cases of systemic cancer. One rather unappealing interpretation is obvious: that women hang in there with sick husbands, while men bail out on sick wives.

"If the marriage is pretty good, the couple gets closer" when one has cancer, says Dr. Jimmie Holland, chairman of psychiatry and behavioral science at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York. "If the marriage was teetering before, it gets harder. They are the ones at most risk."

Laurel Northouse, Ph.D., who studies the impact of cancer on couples at the University of Michigan School of Nursing, has studied couples in which the wife has breast cancer. She has found not only that the divorce rate within the first 12 months of diagnosis is a fairly low 3% to 4%, but that sometimes it's the woman who decides not to spend whatever time she has left with a man she no longer loves.

A divorce soon after cancer may look "like the husband is leaving her, but she may be saying, 'Enough already,'" says Northouse.

In a study of colon cancer published last year, she adds, female caregivers of men with cancer actually reported more distress than did their husbands. One reason for that, she suspects, is that when husbands become caregivers, they are often seen as heroes doing more than society expects.

"Nobody brings casseroles to women when their husbands are sick because people assume a woman can do the caretaking, that she's a natural caregiver," she says. "But women need help, too."

On the other hand, when men become caregivers, they often don't ask for the support they need because they may be too stoic, says Betty Ferrell, a nurse-researcher at City of Hope National Medical Center in Duarte, Calif. Men "really do feel the financial burden. They feel they must try to keep things normal, to keep going to work."

The downside of this business-as-usual approach, she says, is that men can wind up in denial mode, whereas the women stop and address the reality and say, 'We need help.'"

The bottom line is that when a life-threatening disease strikes, the marriage needs attention, as well as the disease itself, says psychologist David Cella of Northwestern University Medical School in Chicago. "It's very easy for people to put all the attention on the treatment. But some attention should be spared to focus on the couple."

New study says negative impact of divorce exaggerated

A story published today by USA Today reports that A new study to be published this month says that the negative impact of divorce on both children and parents has been exaggerated and that only about one-fifth of youngsters experience any long-term damage after their parents break up.

After studying almost 1,400 families and more than 2,500 children -- some of them for three decades -- trailblazing researcher E. Mavis Hetherington finds that about 75% to 80% of children from divorced homes are ''coping reasonably well and functioning in the normal range.'' Eventually they are able to adapt to their new lives.

About 70% of kids in stepfamilies are ''pretty happy,'' Hetherington says. And 40% of couples in stepfamilies were able to build ''stable, reasonably satisfying marriages.''

Hetherington is publishing her relatively positive findings in For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, $26.95), out Jan. 21. Her co-author is journalist John Kelly. The summation of her life's work is long awaited by polarized academics -- and aimed at clearing up confusion among moms and dads worried about divorce.

Hetherington, whose research methods are regarded by her peers as the gold standard, is professor emeritus in the department of psychology at the University of Virginia. She writes:

* The vast majority of children within two years after their parents' divorce ''are beginning to function reasonably well again.''

* Most young adults from divorced families were ''behaving the way young adults were supposed to behave, choosing careers, developing permanent relationships, ably going about the central tasks of young adulthood.''

* For every young adult from a divorced family that is having social, emotional or psychological problems, four others are functioning well. Most divorced women ''manage to provide the support, sensitivity and engagement their children need for normal development.'' Single moms ''deserve a prize'' for their efforts, she says. ''Many of them are real heroes.''

* Women tend to come out of divorce better than men, despite the financial dilemmas many experience. ''A subset of our women and girls turned out to be more competent, able people than if they had stayed in unhappy family situations.''

Hetherington's new book comes at a pivotal time. The divorce rate actually has dropped slightly in the 1990s, from a high of more than 50% of new marriages ending in divorce to about 43% currently. But for most experts, the numbers still are unacceptably high.

Few criticize Hetherington outright. But even as many tip their hats to her, the disapproving already are lining up.

David Blankenhorn, one skeptic, is the author of Fatherless America and a leader of the growing ''marriage movement,'' which seeks to reduce the number of marriages that end in divorce.

Hetherington's book will stoke ''a sort of backlash,'' Blankenhorn says. ''We have made so much progress in the last 10 years in what I would call realism about divorce. Reputable scholars have led a trend away from a kind of 'happy talk' approach to divorce. Even the title of her book says something: that we are reconsidering divorce, the fact that divorce is harmful to children.'' He takes issue with those like Hetherington who believe, he says, that ''we shouldn't worry so much'' or that ''the kids will be fine.''

Linda Waite, sociologist at the University of Chicago and co-author of The Case for Marriage, questions one of Hetherington's key findings, that perhaps the surest way for a child of divorce to avoid a divorce himself is to marry someone from an intact family. ''Then what she is really saying is that if you are a divorced person, nobody should marry your child,'' Waite says.

When one goes deeper into Hetherington's wide-ranging book, some alarming findings do emerge:

* 70% of young people from divorced families see divorce as an acceptable solution, even if children are present. Marriage is forever ''if things work out.'' Only 40% from intact families do.

* Fewer than 20% of young adult stepchildren feel close to their stepmoms. The divorce rate in remarriages is greater than those in first marriages, frequently because the stepmother is unpopular: She is often caught in the middle, expected to be nurturers of sometimes difficult and suspicious children.

* Men and boys adjust emotionally less well after a divorce in the family than women and girls. Divorced men do poorly alone and remarry quickly, while boys become challenges to the single moms they tend to live with, often losing touch with dads.

Still, most children of divorce make it through. Rather than thinking about ''the inevitability of any one kind of outcome of divorce,'' Hetherington hopes readers think about the ''diversity of outcomes. What is striking is that we go from those who are totally defeated, mired in depression and poverty, to these ebullient, happy, satisfied people making wonderful contributions to their families and society.''

Georgia experiencing an increase in unwed mothers

A story published today by the Augusta Chronicle reports that for more than 20 years, Dorothy Rhodes, a county health department worker has seen the cycle continue in Taliaferro county: generations of children born to single mothers. So when her county came up fourth in Georgia for percentage of births to single moms, she wasn't surprised.

Taliaferro isn't the only local county in the top 10. Hancock County tops the list, Warren is ranked third, Burke is ranked ninth, and Jefferson is ranked 10th.

The counties are part of the good news-bad news story of out-of-wedlock births in Georgia. While unmarried teen-agers are having children less often - Georgia's teen birth rates declined from third highest in the nation in 1992 to sixth highest by 1999 - single women 20 and older are becoming mothers more often.

And that's driving up the state's birth rate to unwed mothers.

Thirty-seven percent of all Georgia babies in 1999 were born to unwed mothers, up from 32 percent in 1989, according to the Georgia Department of Human Resources.

In the counties ranked in the top 10, at least 61 percent of births were to single mothers. In Hancock County, the top-ranked county, that number was 81 percent.

The population of eight of the 10 counties - including all five near Augusta - is more than half black, nearly double the state average in the 2000 census. According to single-mother statistics, blacks are three times more likely to have a child out of wedlock.

Each county is poor - very poor. Each of the counties ranks in the bottom 25 of the state in terms of poverty statistics. Burke County ranks 138th out of Georgia's 159 counties, Warren is 141st, Taliaferro is 143rd, and Jefferson is 145th. Terrell County, which ranks fifth in single-mother births, comes in the worst of the top 10 in poverty terms: It is 156th - just one place lower than Hancock County, according to The Georgia County Guide, a compilation of statistics published by the University of Georgia.

The high numbers of single-parent families mean more and more children are being born into the poverty cycle, said Doug Bachtel, a demographer for the University of Georgia's Family and Consumer Science Department.

"These kids tend to grow up and produce single-parent families themselves," he said. "A bunch end up in dysfunctional jobs or in prison - it's a cycle of poverty. They are programmed to fail."

Poverty also means some women might not have access to the educational programs and health care alternatives available to women in more affluent areas.

While Richmond County does not rank in the top 10, more than half of the births in the county are to single mothers. In 1999, 52.4 percent of births were to unwed mothers - up 10 percent from 1990. Of those, 30 percent were white and 70 percent were black.

On average, one-third of the babies in the United States are born to single moms.

"Half of all the births in Richmond County are to unwed mothers, and that's where your future labor force is coming from," Mr. Bachtel said. "It means that half of all the kids in the Richmond County public school system are from unwed mothers."

Turkey recognizes women and men as equal

A story released today by WomensENews reports that Turkey, the world's most secular Muslim nation, has enacted revolutionary changes in its family law code, declaring women and men equal in marriage and giving women equal rights in divorce and property ownership.

"This symbolizes a historic turning point," the Ankara-based Flying Broom women's rights group said in a statement. "Our country is closer to achieving the goal of equality between women and men."

The revisions to the code, which had remained largely untouched since its introduction in 1926, include the abolition of the legal principle that "the head of the marriage union is the man" and it also now gives men and women equal roles in family matters.

Whereas under the old code divorced women were entitled only to property legally registered under their names, the revisions stipulate that property and assets are to be divided equally.

"I would like to stress that this clause is not only important to women seeking a divorce, but also for women already married, as it ensures economic equality in the family which is the basis for many other equalities during marriage," Pinar Ilkkaracan, a leader of Women for Women's Human Rights said in an interview conducted by email from Istanbul.

According to the new code, the 50-50 rule on property would apply to assets acquired after January 1, 2003. Women's groups have demanded that the equal division be applied now to all property held by married couples but it remains to be seen whether lawmakers will heed their call.

"The reform of the civil code has come as a result of decades of advocacy by the Turkish women's movement," Ilkkaracan said. "The fact that the reform of the civil code did not even meet any resistance from the public proves that the public has long accepted the demands of the Turkish women's movement--it was rather the Turkish parliament which was slow."

The new code also raises the legal age for marriage to 18––up from 17 for men and 15 for women. It also requires that couples be legally separated for six months before they can file for divorce. The legal age for adopting children will fall from 35 to 30 and single parents will be allowed to adopt under the new code. Although it makes no provisions for cohabiting families, the code grants out-of-wedlock children the same inheritance rights as other offspring.

Men too will benefit. They can request alimony from wives who earn more than they do. Also, the revisions permit a man can take his wife's surname.

Sunday, January 13, 2002

Military institute forms new policy banning married and expecting cadets

A story released today by the Associated Press reports that the Virginia Military Institute has issued a new policy that would require cadets who are married or expecting newborns to leave the state-supported institute.

Cadets would be allowed to finish the semester in which the marriage or parenthood was discovered, and the policy will not be enforced retroactively, school officials said.

The issue arose when VMI learned last winter that a junior cadet was pregnant. The school's lawyers advised that federal law says pregnancy cannot be used to exclude a woman from any academic program.

The woman finished the semester at VMI and has not returned.

A short time later, the VMI Board of Visitors passed a resolution ordering Superintendent Josiah Bunting III to write a policy "whereby a VMI cadet who chooses to marry or to undertake the duties of a parent, by that choice, chooses to forego his or her commitment to the Corps of Cadets and his or her VMI education.''

Cadets have long been forbidden from being married, but the policy was enforced on a "don't ask, don't tell'' basis.

The policy applies to pregnant women and any man who impregnates a woman. But critics said the ban was unconstitutional and a clear violation of federal law, which forbids discrimination against pregnant women in academic programs.

"We have grave concerns about it as a legal matter, as a policy matter, as a matter of common sense,'' said Jocelyn Samuels, vice president and director of education at the National Women's Law Center in Washington.

Kent Willis, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Virginia, said the policy could face a legal challenge.

"Despite the fact that the words of the policy make it appear to apply equally to men and women, in reality women are far more likely to be affected than men,'' Willis said.

New community service group formed for singles in Pennsylvania

A story published today by the Lancaster Sunday News reports that when Susan E. Grubb, of Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania organized Single in Service, she knew of other singles' support groups; she knew of singles' Bible study groups. She even knew about singles' dating groups that match Christians with Christians. But what was missing, she realized, was a place where Christian singles could offer service to their community while getting to know one another.

"I'd hear friends talk about their calling," she said, "but I always thought my cell phone was off because I never got the call ... until now." The idea of an interdenominational singles' ministry bowled her over last October, she said, and she put the wheels in motion.

"Sometimes people get the feeling that they want to do something to help, but it overwhelms them," she said. "One person might not be able to do it but a group can do it."

Grubb has the support of Joyce Stoltzfus who, with her husband Ralph Detrick, co-pastors Elizabethtown Church of the Brethren.

"Ever since we came to this church in 1997 we thought we needed a singles' group," Stoltzfus said. "The church tends to neglect singles, concentrating instead on family groups. ...But," she added, "there was no one person with a burning desire to get it going."

When Grubb offered to organize the group, Stoltzfus jumped at the chance to help out, by giving church space for the meetings and some money for materials.

"It's wonderful when a layperson has a dream of a certain ministry and follows their calling," Stoltzfus said. Plus, combining singles and service fit well within the church's mission. "Church of the Brethren is well-known for their service. We are glad she connected the two.

Grubb, 41, who is manager of communications for the Pennsylvania Chamber of Business and Industry, Harrisburg, and is a free-lance writer, hopes adults (age 18 and older) of varied backgrounds will attend the initial meeting of Singles in Service with ideas for how to help the community. "The possibilities are wide open," she said. "This can become whatever people want."

"It's important to connect to other Christians," she said. "I hope to form a strong network of Christian singles who provide support, friendship to each other and help out with our community."

South Korea’s singles population, a new target for business opportunities

A story released today by Reuters reports that as more and more young South Koreans marry later than their parents did, a growing pool of single adults is creating new business opportunities.

From estate agents to advertisers to electronics makers, South Korean businesses are finding out what their Western and Japanese counterparts discovered decades earlier: singles have cash to spend.

Industry sources estimate that South Korea’s singles housing market was worth six trillion won (US$4.68bil) this year, a major economic windfall from a trend in which younger Koreans have shunned customary early, often arranged, marriages.

The National Statistics Office recorded 2.2 million singles households last year, up a third from 1.6 million households in 1995. The number of singles in their 30s has grown by nearly half to 1.1 million from 763,000 in 1995.

Another 4.7 million single adults, or over 10% of the population of 46 million, live with their parents.

The statistics underline the trend towards a higher share of national income earned by single people.

Industries have sprung up to serve the lifestyles of a mushrooming population of well-educated singles.

In housing, young Koreans are shunning a traditional deposit system that requires renters to tie up 18 to 30 million won to rent an apartment or house.

They are turning to Korean "singles houses," large residences with 30 to 40 furnished rooms with monthly rents ranging from 300,000 (US$234) to 350,000 won including heat and power.

Lee Ji-pyung, researcher at LG Economic Research Institute, said the financial clout of singles is growing. Their buying power is expected to boost sales of a whole range of products and services, including overseas tour packages.

Ireland’s divorce law has not flooded court system

A story published today by the Chicago Tribune reports that when Ireland legalized divorce in 1997, proponents expected the divorce courts to be flooded. After all, there were 90,000 separated people on the island. Five years later there is a stream of couples taking legal action to end their marriages, but the divorce courts are by no means overloaded.

Gerry Curran, spokesman for the government's Central Statistics Office, said part of the reason might be because Ireland's separation laws were as comprehensive as many divorce laws in other countries.

Another reason divorce hasn't been embraced is that it's still difficult to obtain. A couple must have lived apart (but not necessarily in separate residences) for four of the last five years. But Michele Dillon, an associate professor of sociology at the University of New Hampshire, said the stigma of divorce is still much weightier than separation in the predominantly Catholic country, especially outside the major cities.

"There isn't a divorce culture over there like there is here," said Dillon, author of "Debating Divorce: Moral Conflict in Ireland." "If you were to talk to people, they would say that's it's fine if you need to separate, but divorce is not seen as a positive thing."

Kieron Wood, an Irish barrister who has written extensively on the topic, said the open-ended nature of an Irish divorce may keep the rate down, because it currently allows a spouse to repeatedly come back to court to seek more money.

But Wood said Irish couples who don't want to wait four years to split now have a way to get around the country's Divorce Act. Under a European Union ruling that took effect last March, if one spouse has been living in another EU nation for a year, the couple can seek a divorce in that country, and Ireland has to recognize it.

Being born out-of-wedlock in Jordan carries a heavy burden

A story published today by the Jordan Times reports that according to Asthma Khader, a Jordanian lawyer and human rights activist, Jordanian society is not as virtuous as it claims to be when it comes to the problem of illegitimate children.

"Statistically, the number of illegitimate children is higher than the number of women who get killed in honor crimes because not all women (who conceive out-of-wedlock) get killed. Sometimes the families resort to other measures like marrying them off."

Unlike the problem of honor crimes, the stories of dozens, if not hundreds, of illegitimate children remain untold in a society that refuses to acknowledge the existence of this problem, let alone the size of it.

However, Faida Barqawi, head of the Women and Children's Affairs Department at the MoSD, claimed that illegitimate children in government homes are few in number.

"The percentage of illegitimate children (from the overall number of children brought to the ministry for help) does not exceed five percent, which means that our society is still okay," Barqawi said without elaborating.

At the Hussein Institute for Orphans, there is a special section for newborn children. When The Jordan Times visited the orphanage, there were 52 babies, some of whom were one-day old. The institute's director, Naela Hassouneh, said all of them were illegitimate.

Some children are also found abandoned, mostly in dumpsters or in front of mosques. A child whose parents are unknown is identified in Arabic as "laqeet." If his/her parents are unknown, he/she given false family names.

The MoSD also acknowledged that there is a rule in the kingdom against returning the child to a single mother, but could not point to where it is stipulated in the law.

According to Buthaina Freihat, lawyer and member of Mizan legal group: "This procedure violates Islamic Sharia and the law. There is no law that says the child should be taken away. According to Sharia, the mother should take custody of the child regardless of whether it was legitimate or not."

On government records, the identity of the mother remains unchanged. But the illegitimate child is registered under a false name at the Civil Status Department, and is issued a birth certificate accordingly.

Hassouneh said it seldom happens that women come to the institute to claim their children.

"Out of the 52 cases we have, I'd say in only one case the mother may come back for her child."

Ironically, children who are found in dumpsters or at mosque entrances might stand a better chance in life than those whose mothers are identifiable. The MoSD administers a guardianship program where families take in children and become their guardians.

Islam does not recognize adoption but allows for guardianship, where a family can take in an orphan, but he or she is not entitled to the adoptive family's name, nor inheritance. Even in this case, the child keeps the false last name designated to him/her.

Hassouneh said guardianship only applies to orphans, not to illegitimate children whose mothers are known to be alive.

"Those children are not accepted by society. If a man is illegitimate it is difficult for him to think of getting married because people normally ask about the families. We need to make society aware of this issue. I think that mentally- or physically-challenged children are more accepted in society than illegitimate children," Hassouneh said.

Khader is a member of a legal team that has been set up to draft a new law on children's rights. One of the issues under debate is the possibility of obliging a couple to marry if conception takes place out-of-wedlock in order to protect the child's family rights.

The committee has also discussed the possibility of legalizing abortion within the first three months of pregnancy, if it took place outside of marriage. But the majority voted against including any such article in the new law.

Saturday, January 12, 2002

Living alone becoming the norm in UK

A story released today by Ananova.com reports that according to a study conducted by Abbey National, the number of British people living on their own is outnumbering the number of parents living with children.

The study found that just 6.5 million people in the UK live in a traditional nuclear family of parents and children. More than that live alone, with many choosing to be single.

Janet Connor, of Abbey National study, said: "Our findings point to an interesting paradox: as singleton and child-free family units fast become the norm, there are fewer families in the traditional sense of the word."

Childhood family disruptions can reverberate later in life

A story published today by the Cincinnati Enquirer reports that according to a study by Elaine Wethington, a Cornell University sociologist, the effects of childhood family disruptions, such as parental divorce, long-term separation from biological parents, parental abandonment and foster care, can reverberate into later life.

Women, in particular, who experienced childhood family turmoil are more likely to report interpersonal conflict in later life than are other women or men.

Wethington found that men and women who reported a strong social network were more likely to report good physical health, feelings of cheerfulness and satisfaction most of the time, and suffered few, if any, periods of depression.

On the other hand, recently divorced men were more likely to report poor health than were married men, while recently divorced women who felt they had no close friends were more likely to report negative feelings than other women.

The study also found a person's perception of a strong social support network surpassed even marriage in having positive effects on health and mental health.

"In general, we found that parental death had less of an effect in later life than parental divorce, long-term separation from parents, parental abandonment and foster care," Dr. Wethington says. "These family disruptions are much more strongly related to feelings of fewer social supports and more negative moods and feelings in adulthood than parental death is."

Comparing childhood family disruptions to adult family conflict, the study found that having divorced parents in childhood is related to more family conflict for both men and women later in life, regardless of current marital or parenting status. Married women with and without children, however, reported less conflict than unmarried women.

"Our findings suggest that family history matters for perceptions of social support and conflict in adulthood," Dr. Wethington says. "These findings indicate that childhood family disruptions could have long-lasting effects on the quality and formation of interpersonal relationships critical to well-being far into adulthood." The study was presented at the American Sociological Association's annual meeting.

A story published today by Jordan Times reports that a foreign worker who gave birth to a baby boy out-of-wedlock said that the baby's father was a man who had raped her.

Although the accused man admitted that he had an extramarital affair with the foreign woman, he denied the rape charges and refused to bear any responsibility towards the child.

The woman took her case to court, hoping to get an order to oblige the accused to take a DNA test to prove that he is the father and name the baby after him. But when the Jordanian judge, Ahmad Ali Jaradat, heard that the boy was conceived outside of marriage, he dismissed the case without even summoning the defense.

Outside the courtroom, the judge told the plaintiff’s lawyer, Buthaina Freihat, that even if the accused admitted that he was the real father, the child would not take his name because Islamic Sharia does not recognize the father's relationship to the child if conception took place out-of-wedlock.

"We knew this was a losing case, but we decided to go ahead and take it to court because we wanted to know the opinion of the judiciary," said Freihat, who works with Mizan, a legal consultancy group.

Mustafa Mufti, a judge who presides over the Sharia Court in Rusaifeh, believes that Islamic Sharia obliges the father to give the child his name, even if he was born out-of- wedlock, and to take responsibility for having brought a human being to life.

"According to Sharia, apart from cases of incestuous adultery or rape, if a child is born outside wedlock, and a man confesses, or it is proven that he is the father, then we should recognize the relationship," Mufti said.

But even if the plaintiff took her case to Judge Mufti and managed to oblige the defendant to take the DNA test, the court still would have failed to force the defendant to give the child his name, simply because the Jordanian law still does not yet recognize scientific evidence as means of proving the biological relationship.

According to Sharia rules, the biological relationship can be proven through the marriage contract, if there is one, or 'bainah' -- which means evidence in Arabic.

"So far, the word 'bainah' in the law only means the presence of witnesses to the act of conception, but it does not include any scientific evidence such as the DNA testing," said Mufti.

Mufti is a member of a legal team that has been set up to draft a new law on children's rights. He said the committee will recommend amending the law in order to recognize all scientific evidence.

Another member of the team, lawyer Asma Khader, said the committee is proposing to include an article to oblige the couple to get married if conception takes place outside of marriage.

"At present, the law does not oblige both parents to marry if the father's identity is known. This is why I suggested that they should be obliged to do so, even if they divorce later, because the child's relation is automatically linked with the marriage (if it takes place before birth)," said Khader, who is also the director of Mizan.

Thursday, January 10, 2002

A story published today by the Taipei Times reports that five Taiwanese women's organizations yesterday called for abolition of the crime of adultery. These women’s groups argued that in order to prevent the misconception that this would further restrict women's rights, the Civil Code should first be amended to protect women's property rights.

The Awakening Foundation, Warm Life Association for Women, Taipei Awakening Association, Taiwan Women's Link, and Taipei Association for the Promotion of Women's Rights, made the call at a joint press conference yesterday.

Since adultery is grounds for divorce, the groups said, removing the offense from the Criminal Code may generate concern that when a husband's extra-marital liaisons result in divorce, the wife might lose not only her husband and, under the current regulations, her assets, but also her right to "justice" as represented by criminal penalties.

Current regulations give husband greater rights than wives over property which belongs to both, according to the Awakening Foundation's Tien Ting-fang.

Wu Yueh-chen of the Warm Life Association for Women, said the importance of the property rights issue is paramount.

"Current regulations give husbands the right to manage property belonging to their wives. Husbands preparing to divorce on grounds of adultery usually transfer their own assets to others, often resulting in the wife receiving insufficient funds," Wu said.

"The first step to protect wives is therefore to amend the current law to guarantee husbands and wives equal rights to manage each other's property and to prevent husbands from transferring the property to other people," she said.

Solo travelers can get good deals this year

A story published today by the USA Today reports that according to the Travel Industry Association of America, nearly one in four American adults have taken a vacation by themselves in the past three years. But despite the popularity of solo travel, the travel industry has been slow to cater to the needs of this increasing group.

But the tide may now be changing. Since September 11th, every traveler has become an important commodity to struggling travel companies trying to fill spaces. This has prompted them to cater to singles with more deals and special trips.

If you are planning to travel alone this year, follow these helpful hints to find the best deal:

1. Sidestep the supplements.

If you're over 50, traveling solo and want to go on an organized tour, you're in luck. Tour companies for mature travelers have taken the lead in catering to those traveling alone. 

For the younger crowd, Club Med runs one of the best bets for a solo, all-inclusive vacation. Don't worry about going alone, Club Med will match you with a same-sex roommate at no extra cost.

2. Consider taking a cruise.

Cruises provide an ideal vacation for singles, as the days and nights are so jam-packed with activities and social events, you will hardly remember that you came on board alone.

Post Sept. 11, many cruise lines waived their single supplements through the end of 2001. While most of the deals are no longer available, exceptions remain.

3. Keep yourself in the know.

You don't have to do the research on deals for singles on your own. A number of resources exist that locate the best ones for you.

Canadian-based Connecting: Solo Travel Network publishes a bi-monthly newsletter covering issues and deals of interest to single travelers. The group also serves as a clearinghouse for finding a travel companion. 

Flight attendant and solo travel expert Sharon Wingler's Web site, www.Travelaloneandloveit.com, also provides practical information for the solo traveler. 

4. Find a travel companion.

The free Web site www.Travelchums.com matches traveling companions based on interests. It allows you to search by age, gender, marital status and what kind of "chum" you are seeking (just a friend or the potential for a romantic connection). Travelchums.com uses an internal messaging system, so your personal information remains private until you choose to reveal it.

5. Don't despair if you are a single parent who wants to travel.

Single parents can employ many of the same tactics as single travelers; keep informed on what's out there and consider networking and traveling with other single parents. Frommer's recommends the following Web sites:

www.singleparent.net

www.familytravelforum.com

www.parentswithoutpartners.org

www.singleparentcentral.com

www.singleparentmagazine.com

Ranks of 'never-marrieds' growing in America

A story released today by ABCNews.com reports that according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the so-called "never-marrieds" are one of the fastest-growing groups in America. Singles constitute more than 40 percent of the adult population, and 10 percent of all adults will never marry, according to 2000 census statistics.

In less than 30 years, the number of people who have never walked down the aisle has more than doubled, as the median age of marriage has reached a historic high: 25 years for women, and 27 years for men.

"People are being more demanding. It's a soulmate or nothing, when a generation ago, less than half the people said something similar to that," relationship therapist Laura Berman told Good Morning America.

In a 1965 survey, three out of four college women said they would marry a man they didn't love if he fit their criteria in every other way.

A recent Rutgers University study found 94 percent of people between the ages of 20 and 29 agreed to the statement: "When you marry, you want your spouse to be your soulmate, first and foremost."

In addition to that, modern women are able to support themselves, and do not need men for their money, Berman said. Some are buying homes for themselves.

"They need a man for enhancing their lives, but not for creating them," she said.

Despite the fun, these statistics on singles give rise to the question of bearing children. Are biological clocks still ticking, despite the longer wait to marry?

"The urge to have children persists with or without a mate," sex therapist Dr. Jennifer Berman said. "The reason that people are getting married has shifted between this generation and our parents. More women are focused on careers and they want to get those in order before they think of children."

It is not just women who are hearing the tick-tock either. After decades in which men had the statistics in their favor, the dating pool demographics have reversed. For those between the ages of 30 to 44, the number of men and women are even, and in some cases, slightly tipped in the women's favor.

Men who are looking for younger mates may be headed for trouble. Men in their late 30s and early 40s will outnumber women five to 10 years younger by two to one, by 2010, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Getting married not a priority for young people

A story published today by the Sun Herald reports that across the nation, the ranks of never-married adults of legal marriage age grew by 10.3 percent from 1990 to 2000. The Mississippi coast saw a 29 percent increase.

The Rev. Bruce Little of Leggett United Methodist Church in Biloxi attributes the growing number of never-married people to a sense of caution among young adults brought on by the nation's soaring divorce rates.

"So many of our young people have experienced the wrenching trauma that divorce brings," he said. "It has made a lot of them a little gun-shy."

However, Little said, the census data could also be a healthy sign.

"It may say something about how young people understand that marriage is sacred," he said. "They're saying, 'When we do it, we want to do it right.'"

Wedding planner Salina Domino-Sullivan of Domino House bridal consultants in Gulfport said she thinks young people are concerned with establishing solid careers before plunging into matrimony.

"They're getting comfortable with themselves," she said. "They're looking for their soulmates and they're putting their careers first."

She said that the brides-to-be she assists are normally between the ages of 27 and 40.

"I don't get 18-year-old brides," she said. "I haven't seen any brides that young for a couple of years."

Australian study shows first-time dads experience stress and depression

A story released today by Reuters reports that according to an Australian study documenting a form of male prenatal depression, first-time dads-to-be are prone to put on weight and reach for the bottle during their partner's pregnancy rather than after the baby is born.

A three-year study by the Adelaide, Australia-based Flinders Medical Center found on average men put on 3.5 pounds, and one in seven started to drink a dangerous amount of alcohol before the baby's birth to counteract stress and less sex.

"This was surprising, because it was expected that the fathers would be more likely to feel anxious after the baby was born than before," said Flinders researcher Carolyn Corkindale.

The study of 312 men in Sydney and Adelaide, ages 18 to 40, found 5.2 percent of men were depressed and anxious before the birth, declining to 3.7 percent when their baby was a year old.

This mirrored the depression scores for women, with 14.8 percent depressed after 23 weeks of pregnancy dropping to 8.9 percent when the baby was 12 months old.

Italy experiencing increase in out-of-wedlock births

A story released today by Xinhua News Agency reports that according to a reports from the Emilia-Romagna union of chambers of commerce, the number of children born to unmarried Italian parents has been rising in the past decade.

In the year 2000, the study found, a total of 54,770 births were recorded compared to 48,118 in 1999 and 35, 246 in 1990.

The report also noted that in 1990 there was one out-of-wedlock child born for every 15 born in a married relationship. In 2000 this ratio rose to one in every nine.

While out-of-wedlock births were up throughout Italy, they were more frequent in the north, said the report.

The percentage of such births was lower in the south, with only 3.8 percent in Molise and 2.8 percent in Basilicata. Researchers believe that the sense of the traditional family structures appears stronger in that region.

Korean clubs offer an alternative meeting place for singles

A story published today by the Wall Street Journal reports that in South Korea, a unique club scene has become a phenomenon for singles in that county. Known as "booking clubs", they are immensely popular among young people looking for amorous adventure. Men and women pay hundreds of dollars to spend an evening at a booking spot, where it’s part of a waiter’s job to play matchmaker.

The clubs afford Koreans an acceptable way to violate mating taboos. Korean society discourages young people from interacting with the opposite sex. Many Korean teenagers are trapped in a regimented same-sex school system until they go to college. For university students and marriageable young professionals, introducing oneself to a stranger in a bar or at a party is considered unseemly. And arranged marriages are still common. As a result, many Koreans are uncomfortable looking for dates on their own.

Most clubs are in the ritzy districts of southern Seoul and cater to young professionals and the children of the well-to-do. The sexes arrive in separate groups, and sit at sex-segregated tables in a dimly lighted room. When a man spots a woman he’d like to meet, he will summon a waiter and place his "order." The waiter then physically delivers the target woman to his table.

The clubs still maintain a bit of old Korean conservatism. They don’t allow girls to select the guys. That would be going too far in this male-dominated country. Some sociologists still denounce them as a product of Korea’s rapid industrialization and its disorientating encounter with the West.

"Mixing of strict Confucian values and Western culture is yielding a strain of materialism and messiness that is tainting young people in Korea." said Yu Gi Na, a professor of media at Dongkuk University in Seoul.

Proposed New Hampshire bill plans to change state’s no-fault divorce law

A story published today by the Concord Monitor reports that staying together for the children's sake could become more than just a noble-minded resolution in the months to come. It could become law. Under a New Hampshire bill being discussed before the House Child and Family Law Committee, no-fault divorces would no longer be permissible for couples with minor children.

"When our little children are born to us, we as parents are God," said Rep. Gary Hopper, the bill's sponsor. "And if we bust that up . . . it's wreaking havoc on our kids."

Children from divorced homes are 12 times more likely to be incarcerated than children from intact homes notes Michael McManus, a conservative religious newspaper columnist who came from Maryland to testify for the bill. They are 14 times more likely to be physically abused by the custodial parent. Female children often grow up to make bad choices in relationships, he said, citing the landmark book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce by Judith Wallerstein. And males often shy away from relationships altogether.

McManus, founder of a nationwide program called Marriage Savers, was invited to speak at the hearing by Graham Chynoweth, a well-known Concord divorce attorney.

Chynoweth said his interest in the issue is not just professional but personal. He was divorced himself several years ago. "I see the effects it had on my children," he said. "When parents get divorced, the children's perspective is radically different from that of adults."

Since no-fault divorces were introduced in 1971, the national divorce rate has skyrocketed, Chynoweth said. New Hampshire's divorce rate continues to increase, even while national rates have begun to decline.

Opponents of the bill say it's not the right way to foster happy, stable homes.

"I don't see this bill as a step in the right direction," said Jonathan Baird, a lawyer with New Hampshire Legal Assistance. "What will happen is we'll be creating more mudslinging. . . . I think irreconcilable differences is a legitimate grounds for divorce, and I don't think we should take away that grounds."

Certainly, the proposed measure is not the holy grail for happy families, McManus said. It is just one way to start stemming the flood of divorces. He believes most unhappy couples, if persuaded to work at their marriages, can transform their outlook. "Any problem can be worked out," he said.

McManus is also active in advocating laws and programs aimed at more extensive premarital counseling and more support for troubled marriages.

"We need to put a whole network together," he said.

Local Wisconsin program established to help divorcees

A story published today by the Portage Daily Register reports that when Julie Warnecke, 26, of Baraboo, was going through a divorce, she unsuccessfully tried to go through it alone.

"I tried to get over it on my own but I could not get over it," Warnecke said. "I was really overwhelmed. I felt nervous."

Finally, Warnecke's friend in Oklahoma -- who had gone through a divorce -- told her about DivorceCare, a nondenominational program designed to equip churches to conduct ongoing ministry to separated and divorced people.

Now, to save people who are going through divorce or separation the trouble of traveling long distances for support groups, Warnecke and a group of local residents who have benefited from DivorceCare, have decided to start a local program to serve Columbia, Sauk and Juneau counties in Wisconsin.

"There is not any supporting system for people going through divorce or separation," Warnecke said, while giving the reasons for the need for the local organization. "Their (divorcees) grieving process is just like going through death."

DivorceCare program runs for 13 weeks. Each week is dedicated to a different topic -- ranging from an examination of the typical emotional, physical and spiritual reactions felt by someone experiencing divorce or separation to moving on.

Individuals, however, can join the program at any time.

"The biggest emphasis is it does not matter what time you start, you'll still get something out of the meeting," Warnaco said.

Those interested in attending the meeting will have a place "to be able to discuss issues and find a healing," she added.

The meeting will be held in a support group setting. No registration fee is required, however, a workbook that costs about $10 is necessary, Warnecke said.

The first meeting for the program is scheduled from 5 to 7 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 12, at New Life Assembly of God Church, 1229 Eighth St., Reedsburg, Wisconsin.

Tuesday, January 8, 2002

Ugandan university students reject plan to award virgins

A story released today by New Vision reports that Ugandan women who enter into marriage, while still virgins, in the Ugandan kingdom of Baganda stand to profit under a plan by the Bagandan minister of health.

The minister, Robert Ssebunya, was booed by Makerere University students when he outlined his program to revive the traditional Baganda culture which he felt threatened. The students argued the plan was old fashioned, sexist and should be dropped.

"In the past virginity was an important component and girls used to get married at the right age while they were still virgins. This was cherished in Baganda," said Ssebunya. Ssebunya stressed the importance of girls staying in school and delaying marriage.

He said Baganda would support individuals and organizations that promote education and health, particularly those which focus on youths.

Rules established to begin federal funds disbursement for victims of Sept. 11

A story published today by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that the federal fund established to compensate families of those killed or injured in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks has now established rules, which would provide a rational approach for doling out the estimated $4.8 billion to $6 billion to families deeply affected by the recent terrorist tragedy. In return, the survivors agree to not sue the airlines.

While not everyone is happy with Kenneth R. Feinberg's rules, tilted as they are more toward compensation for actual lifetime salary losses than to the pain and suffering associated with the breadwinner's death, he has produced a balanced plan.

The pain and suffering payment of an unmarried victim with no children would be $250,000, with $50,000 more for each surviving spouse and child. This sum is roughly commensurate with the payments federal programs compensate families of police or military killed in the line of duty.

The actual awards could range from $300,000 for an unmarried 65-year-old earning $10,000 a year to $4.35 million for a 30-year-old, married with two children, and earning $175,000 annually. And provision has been made for those who are dissatisfied to make their case.

The awards, to be paid within four months to those who accept them, would also be reduced by life insurance, pension payments, death benefits, or other government subsidies but not by charitable donations.

The advantage of accepting these awards instead of suing the airlines lies in the fact that they provide cash quickly. There are no attorney fees and costs of litigation to subtract. These could run higher than 30 percent. There's also no having to relive the misery of Sept. 11, in depositions and trials.

Korean businesses focusing on unmarried consumers

A story published today by the Korean Herald reports that with the growing numbers of unmarried consumers in South Korea, the "single-jok" (single-tribe), has local businesses leaping into a new niche market.

With the growing recognition of single people as major consumers, local electronics, construction and food companies are scurrying to turn out products that are specifically marketed to appeal to their needs and tastes.

Those opting to leave the confines of the traditional extended family households are no longer being viewed as Confucian heretics but as an influential group capable of leading the nation's social and economic trends.

Local electronics firms such as Samsung and LG are releasing small-sized home appliances tailored to the needs of single people.

LG Electronics' "Newgen" refrigerator is a good example of a product that has found success among singles.

The company has also posted a two-fold increase in sales of its smaller "Neti" television.

"Small-sized home appliances with simple functions are becoming more popular with singles," a Samsung Electronics manager said.

The market scale of furniture for unmarried people has also been increasing based on functional furniture, including products such as "sofabeds."

Internet sites targeted at singles have also surged sharply.

The food industry is also recognizing the potential of this market with many firms rushing to increase products such as pre-prepared meals and non-family style products.

Meanwhile, the "Cookbook for Singles" was released by unmarried singer Lee Hyun-woo last summer became a top seller.

Industry sources attributed the sharp growth in the single industry to the hike in the number of unmarried people and their growing financial strength.

South Korea’s National Statistic Office said that single households accounted for 2.22 million of the 14.391 households nationwide as of the end of last year.

The figure was up 35.4 percent compared with the corresponding figure of 1.64 million in 1995.

Of the thirty-something population, those still single totaled 1 to 1.11 million as of last year, a figure that equates to 13.4 percent of the population in their thirties, and a rise of 4.4 percent from 1995.

Industry sources said that despite a lack of accurate statistics on income, it was generally accepted that single people are able to live alone with their growing spending power and financial independence.

"The possibilities for growth in the single industry are infinite and the increasing number of singles is likely to change the nation's social, cultural and economic landscape," a research fellow at LG Economic Research Institute said.

A story released today by the Daily Trust reports that another unmarried woman in Nigeria is facing charges of adultery. Hafsatu Abubakar, is standing trial in Sokoto for giving birth to a baby girl out of wedlock.

The trial is taking place as the fate of yet another convicted adulteress, Safiya Tungar-Tudu is being decided by the Sharia appellate court in Sokoto.

Tungar-Tudu was initially sentenced to death by stoning by the Gwadabawa lower Sharia court, for giving birth to a baby girl without a husband.

The suspect, Hafsatu, may still follow suit as she stands the risk of being sentenced to death by stoning, as her case and Safiya's are seemingly similar.

Hafsatu, was alleged to have delivered the baby girl in the Gwiwa area of Sokoto without having a husband contrary to section 129 of the state's Sharia code.

According to the police prosecutor, Hafsatu was brought before the court after giving birth to the baby girl out of wedlock.

The suspect pleaded guilty before the court at its sitting last week. She told the court that it was Umaru Shehu, who allegedly impregnated her, an allegation, he denied instantly.

The judge, Alhaji Bello Sahabi Tambuwal, adjourned the case to Wednesday to give the prosecution enough time to find out whether she was once married or not.