Classic book about single women still resounds

A column written by Sheryl McCarthy and published today in Newsday applauds the republication of a landmark book by Helen Burley Brown.

Here's what McCarthy had to say:

When I saw "Sex and the Single Girl" prominently displayed in my neighborhood bookstore the other day, I figured Helen Gurley Brown, the unstoppable 81-year-old former Cosmopolitan editor, had come up with a 21st century sequel to her 1962 bestseller.

"Sex and the Single Girl" was revolutionary in its day. Women were starting to pursue non-feminine careers, but the women's movement hadn't hit its stride, and marriage to some eligible man was still considered a woman's biggest prize. Brown offered advice to working women on how to navigate the turbulent waters of singledom and on how to reel in the desired mate. Shockingly, she disputed the wisdom of millions of mothers, telling women it was OK to have unmarried sex without feeling guilty, and that even affairs with the occasional married man were fine, provided the woman didn't take them too seriously.

Hundreds of relationship books have appeared since then, but now Barricade Books has re-issued "Sex and the Single Girl" as a cult classic. And after re-reading it, I can report that it holds up remarkably well and that it set the standard for the books that followed. Its main themes: That women, however great or poor their physical attributes and economic station, must maximize their assets - from their hair to their clothes to their living quarters. That men are attracted to women who enjoy being women, who like sex and who like men. That they should develop their own careers and lives, because a career gives you stature and money. And that if you wind up not getting married, it probably won't kill you.

I'm a longtime fan of Brown's. And while I've always thought that Cosmopolitan, the women's magazine she built into a media powerhouse, served up a falsely glamorous picture of working women's lives, in her books and conversation about her own life and that of other women, Brown is as frank and down-to-earth as they come.

Among her observations: Single women may envy married women their stability, but many married women envy single women their freedom. Most boyfriends don't want to get married, so a fair amount of arm-twisting and ultimatum-giving is necessary to close the deal. Nobody loves a poor girl, so get yourself a good job and make an attractive home. Try to find a benevolent boss, preferably someone who is rungs above you and can teach you things, and make yourself indispensable to him or her. If you're on a limited budget, economize on whatever's not beautiful, but spend on the essentials, like a really nice dress. A small stock portfolio is quite sexy. So is an elegant used car. And learn how to apply makeup.

Brown's message is that a woman doesn't have to be beautiful, well-connected or particularly well educated to become economically successful or to find a husband. And she showed us how, by working really hard and using her wits, a poor, plain-looking, fatherless girl with a limited education and a slew of dead-end jobs became a successful advertising copywriter, married a millionaire movie producer and became the glamorous editor of a hugely successful national magazine and the editor of best-selling books.

Compared to recent relationship books and TV shows like "Sex and the City," "Sex and the Single Girl" contains very little about sex. If she were rewriting it today, Brown said, she would also write about the option of single motherhood, the best methods of birth control and about abortion. But her original advice is still sound, she says.

It's easier to be a single woman today because there's less pressure to get married and it's easier for women to be successful, she told me.

"Gosh, is success wonderful! It brings you self esteem, recognition from other people. It brings money. That's not bad."

When I last saw her a few years ago, at a press preview of a private salute to her life and work, Brown was wearing a pink Chanel suit, which, she complained to me, was a tad too expensive. That has always been her gift to women - showing that glamour and success are possible, while being totally honest about the cost.

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