We have a couple of issues

By Susan Snyder

There's a growing rift in American society.

It's not between red and blue states; the haves and the have nots, or men and women.

It's between those who are married and those who are not.

U.S. Census figures show that nearly 45 percent of people 15 and older are not married (the Bureau bases marital status and other adult-type demographics on people from age 15).

And the group is not getting smaller, said Tom Coleman, a California attorney and executive director of the American Association for Single People, a non-profit advocacy group (www.unmarriedamerica.org).

Citing Census figures, Coleman said unmarried adults head 49.6 percent of U.S. households. Some are raising children, but 27 percent live alone. Predictions are that by 2020, a third of all American households will be composed of people who never married, are divorced or widowed.

The Census Bureau has estimated that by age 70, Americans will have spent the majority of their adult years being unmarried, Coleman said. And yet, the lifestyle is virtually invisible in employment and government policies.

Coleman recalled a recent inquiry from an Indiana woman who said a prospective employer had told her the company did not hire single parents. She wanted to know whether it was illegal.

It's not. The federal Equal Employment Opportunity Act does not include "marital status" among its categories, and neither do Indiana's employment laws, Coleman said.

"This is something that should irk single people," he said. "We pay taxes to support the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the Department of Housing and Urban Development and the U.S. Civil Rights Commission and none of those have jurisdiction to help us when we say we are being discriminated against because of marital status."

But too few unmarried people speak up. Many see being single as a temporary situation, when in reality they will spend more of their adult lives unmarried than married.

Some changes are occurring just because the number of households headed by unmarried adults is increasing (and will continue to do so as Baby Boomers age), Coleman said.

Many employers now offer health insurance and other benefits to domestic partners or extended family, so that unmarried employees can obtain coverage for a dependent parent or sibling.

Bulk food is being packaged in numerous small containers, rather than a single large one. Some health clubs are using broader definitions for discounted "family" rates, while cruise and tour companies are ditching extra fees levied against people who travel alone.

However, Coleman said, younger workers still report being expected to pick up the weekend and holiday shifts more often than their married coworkers. And older people still lose one of their Social Security checks if they marry rather than live together.

Name-calling from both sides hinders everyone. Assumptions that all singles are selfish and all marriages are the bedrock of society aren't accurate.

"Third, fourth and fifth marriages are not the bedrock of anything," Coleman said. "We need to eliminate marital status as a reward or punishment."

Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursday and Sundays.