January 22, 2007

 

He helps other people find a soul mate

By Dirk Perrefort
Connecticut Post

Ross Gordon may be single, but he makes his living helping others find their soul mate.

Gordon, the owner of justsinglesadventures.com, is part of a booming industry focusing on singles, including travel services and Internet dating sites, that's seen tremendous growth in recent years. The Milford resident began organizing travel excursions for unmarried adults and singles-oriented events 17 years ago after attending a dance at the request of his mother.

"It was so horrible that I thought I could do better than this," he said. "I thought, hey I really could do better than this, and I did."

Gordon began organizing singles dances in the Norwalk area, then moved on to organizing weekend getaways for singles to Cape Cod and skiing trips out west.

Today, Gordon offers nearly 40 trips a year through his Web site. The trips have averaged at least one marriage a year, he said.

"We set up trips around the world and people come from all over the country to meet others with similar interests," said Gordon, who is also a matchmaker and relationship coach. "It all came out of my desire to help bring people together. Half of the people in the United States are single."

Gordon attributes the growth in the singles industry to several factors, including an increasingly hectic lifestyle, especially in the Northeast, and the deterioration of stigmas attached to being single.

"People are choosing to stay single a lot longer than in the past," he said. "Years ago people would look at an unmarried person in their 30s and wonder what's wrong with them. That's just not the case anymore."

He added that people also find it more difficult to socialize and meet others with similar interests, especially after the excitement surrounding the bar scene starts to wear off.

"You have to be focused and put a real effort into meeting people in your daily life," he said. "Most of us go through life never really getting to know the people we come into contact with."

Gail Laguna, the vice president of communications for Spark Networks Inc. of California, said the popularity of Internet dating sites has taken off in recent years. Spark Networks operates 25 sites, including jdate.com, that specializes in connecting people with similar religious or cultural backgrounds. Other dating sites operated by the company include relationships.com, for the Catholic crowd, and blacksingles.com.

Laguna said jdate.com, which serves members of the Jewish community, had about 100 members when the site launched in 1997. Today the site boasts more than 675,000 active members.

"For us we are sensing a growth in target markets where there is a need for our services," she said. "People are working longer hours and find it difficult to find someone. We believe that someone looking for a serious relationship wants a person with similar religious beliefs or cultural backgrounds."

Tom Coleman, the executive director of Unmarried America, a nonprofit organization that provides information to single adults, said people aren't feeling the pressure to get married like they used to 20 years ago. He added that another factor in the booming singles industry is the discretionary spending power of single adults without children, which has been estimated to be about $1.7 trillion annually.

"They don't have a lot of the costs associated with having a family, such as establishing a college fund for their kids," Coleman said. "That's a fact that hasn't been lost on businesses."

He said that while dating sites have become more popular as people crave instant gratification, those using the sites can miss out on real world experiences.

"Your not getting the real time interaction that you need to really get to know someone, such as their demeanor, the kind of perfume they wear or how they interact with others," he said. "That's where the travel services come into play. If you spend several days or a week with someone you get a better perspective of who they are."

For those wondering why a matchmaker like Gordon isn't married, he said he's still looking for Ms. Right.

"I was engaged once and it didn't work out, but yeah, I'm still looking."